Denied By My 10 Month Old


So, for all you breastfeeding moms out there…we all know feeding our babies becomes a full time job. The first few months it feels like there isn’t a time when we aren’t feeding our child…but for some reason we are still paranoid our child is underfed. Eventually solids are introduced and we are no longer the sole food source anymore. Our husbands are happy that they may be able to go near what for months we denied them access to. 🙂

However, we are somewhat saddened. To me, breastfeeding was time for my baby L (as I am going to reference him as) and I to bond. Our way to sneak away from the hustle and bustle of second cousins, crazy aunts, and family friends you hadn’t seen in months coming to visit the newborn.

Well fast forward ten months and here we are – today- October 14th. Yes, I have been slowly weening Louie off breastfeeding, but I never expected him to be so assertive so soon. I awake to his quiet crys and his slight mumblings of “ma ma.” I stumble to the nursery, wishing I had the energy and zest for life he does at 6am. We crawl into my bed for our routine morning feeding. And what occurs….He Pushes Me Away! 

He doesn’t want my milk. My milk he has had and wanted for 10 months. The milk I protect from the contaminates of alcohol, excedrin migraine and every other type of medicine I can’t have, that I so desperately want when it has been one of “those” days. The milk I protected from “drying up” when I pumped in the Amtrak bathroom, the bathroom at the Yankees stadium, the Dallas airport- to name a few.

Amtrak Bathroom
I don’t particularly enjoy using it as a restroom, let alone using it for a milking station. Needless to say, a number of passengers knocked on the door wondering what the heck was taking me so long.


Yes, I had to bring all of this into that small, cramped, and not the most sanitary bathroom. I started to wonder if that train ride to the Yankees game was worth it…

He doesn’t want my milk. He wants that darn formula that I feel like I need to get a part time job to afford.


P.S. Sad news for me, but good news for the hubby. 🙂


One response »

  1. Best place I ever pumped? A lactation suite on Capitol Hill. Worst? An unsightly bathroom of a driving range…while standing up…next to the trash can…because my pump cord wasn’t long enough for me to sit down anywhere else.

    It’s hard because BFing is about so much more than just feeding, you know? I keep telling myself that I want to nurse Arlo through his first year, but I’m just going to let him drive that. We’ll see…

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